A Hiatus — kind of.

It’s been almost 3 months since I have posted anything. Why?

I needed a goal, a purpose, a bottom line, a brand. I wanted it, meaning this blog, to make sense, to have direction. I do the same thing in my own life.

I have believed for too long that you must know everything before you do anything.

WHAT A LIE.

I look at my life and think about how much of myself I withhold because it is not finished, it is not perfect.

Personally, I have fed into the lie that substance only comes from perfection. I have not allowed myself to post, speak, share until it is a complete picture.

Until I’ve covered all my bases. Doesn’t that suck? I can’t share or celebrate or mention my steps through life until I am “ready”— until those steps have manifested into an actual destination!

Fear has taught me for way too long. Fear of seeming irresponsible — for jumping up and trying something different. I think there’s been a lie that says stick with what you have known, and know well. Within this is trying to prove myself, prove that I am enough.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know the value of consistency, commitment, and discipline. This is not a disregard or really even a conversation about those. This is an attack on perfection. Sometimes it parades as commitment but in fact is a cage. In this cage, pieces of myself have died, unworthy of being on display, unworthy of continuing to try with no big shiny ripe fruit ready to share.

The thing is, every day is precious. Every day I learn something new, I feel something different, I think a brilliant thought and I will never doubt myself or my “moment” again.

Enjoy your lives people. Tell me about you and what’s been going on in your head today? It doesn’t have to come to this grand finished lesson or epiphany yet—Just let me in on your trail.