People pleasing, who I’ve always been, and who God always is

I think it’s important that we make room for raw honesty. I think a lot of times we are so caught up on how we are supposed to feel that we don’t allow ourselves to face the truth of how we actually feel. How you actually feel and what you actually think is important. It’s okay to be flawed, you can’t move on unless you recognize them and make peace with your imperfections.

Tonight I’m listening to a podcast by Judah and Chelsea Smith and once again they hit the nail on the head. Judah just flat out said, “I know I’m a people pleaser, that’s something I naturally lean into, I want to make people happy. I’ve been in therapy, I know that about myself and I’m continuing to grow through that but …”

Sigh, from a fellow people pleaser that stunned me. I’m so used to that being referenced as a negative unforgivable thing that I deny deny deny. But there’s wisdom in knowing yourself and your inclinations. I said earlier, we must recognize our shortcomings and make peace with our imperfections; but that doesn’t mean we become indifferent or passive in the process of becoming. We recognize so we can move closer to a whole healed self. We can’t move forward and grow if we are not honest with where we are.

It’s okay to be imperfect. (I know this may seem like an obvious statement, but this reality is something I wrestle with a lot.)

I think the issue is that I deny the truth in a way that keeps me from effectively examining my natural inclinations and growing from them.

Lord, I am a people pleaser but I would like not to be.

Simple. (I’ve also been trying to practice simplicity in my conversations with God. Simple prayers, cries, talks. The truth doesn’t have to be complicated or over spiritual).

Long story short, I can’t grow if I won’t recognize where I am.

I realize not all my intentions are wrong. I love making people happy, creating peace, and doing what I can to help others. The issue is when the motivation of my heart is impure. Sometimes it’s to glorify myself because I feel inadequate, I don’t feel beautiful or valuable or talented or loved.

Lately I’ve been praying the Lord strips me of the need for the validation of man. I’ve been so caught up in what others think that I can’t be fully present and embrace Christ.

I love the freedom and joy we have in Christ. I don’t want anything to stand in the way of that. I always think, “I want to be free again like I always think I was when I was in college”.

The truth is that I’ve always struggled with people pleasing  and seeking validation from others. The difference is that it was only in Christ, that I found freedom from that.

These are the moments I remember in college. I delighted in my Savior and Friend Jesús Christ. That love and connection changed and still does change everything.

Only in you am I free, do I become a woman unashamed and real. Authentic.

The woman I love to be, I want to be, my true self as you’ve created me.

Help me pursue you and let you do the rest.

In Jesus name, Amen!